somthing unpolished and spontaneous whilst working
Action Figure
and maybe there's more to memory than these
stories I repeat to myself, endlessly
cataloging anecdote and incidence as if there's
something I might cull from this life
so far. I cross streets all the time looking down
and recall walking barefoot across a hot
sticky stretch of asphalt at thirteen. That was
the day I sold my He-Man action figures
to an old man at the garage sale. I am nothing
at the crosswalk but that story and a pair of eyes
glued to the reflective white strip leading me
onward; walking from wherever.
and maybe there's more to memory than these
stories I repeat to myself, endlessly
cataloging anecdote and incidence as if there's
something I might cull from this life
so far. I cross streets all the time looking down
and recall walking barefoot across a hot
sticky stretch of asphalt at thirteen. That was
the day I sold my He-Man action figures
to an old man at the garage sale. I am nothing
at the crosswalk but that story and a pair of eyes
glued to the reflective white strip leading me
onward; walking from wherever.
posted by iHabitus at
1:41 PM
4 Comments:
Sometimes I worry that you've, I dont' know, had a baby or something, and have forgotten to tell us. Did you have a baby? Come on- did you?
Maybe it's time for the alternative high school reunion. How about Korea- my place.
I like it. Really like the "I am nothing" bit. Luke warm on the last couplet though. (btw, I've still got my he-mans. Boxes of 'em in the maternal basement. Mom won't get rid of them. Still thinks I'll procreate, the poor woman. Yummy, you want to tell her?)
No, no baby. But if I did have a kid, Yum, would you move to Chicago to teach it to speak English?
As for the last couplet, Dip, what is it you don't like? I too have some issues with it, but I'm curious what yours are.
(I feel a bit embarrassed for calling you two Yum and Dip, but I guess that's the game)
I think my issues stem mainly from the words "glued" and "wherever". Especially "wherever", I recall feeling a distinct sense of disappointment upon reading that last word the first time I read the poem through, almost like it was a throwaway, like you couldn't think of what you really wanted to say, so you put "wherever". I'd replace it with "memory", personally.
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